So Christmas has come and gone now, and the New Year is upon us. (It was a really great Christmas by the way) As always, I have been feeling that slump. A little guilty that I used all my Christmas money on shopping, and a little guilty about how much I enjoyed it. 😉 And then, when it’s all over, you wake up and here it is a new year with no vacations ahead for awhile. Just slip back into your regular life.
Well, like many people I do take stock of my past year and see what I did. I made a list of what I accomplished, and it was pretty long, so I won’t bore you with it here. But for all the stuff I did do, it felt like it was just another year. There are still things about myself that bother me–sometimes a lot. Am I just going to make the same resolutions I made last year? My life always seems to be a 7, better than average (whatever that’s supposed to be) but never even close to a 10. Or maybe, rather, it seems too close to a 10 so why put a lot of effort into bumping it up a notch.
And then I found a site, StevePavlina.com. I would say that it’s going to change my life, but it already has. It’s like when I discovered Alan Watts, what he says resonates with my soul.
So I’m on Day 5 of getting up at 6:00 am, every day, even if it a weekend. This may not seem like a lot, but for some reason, it had been really hard for me to do. I am also currently working on my new blog. It won’t replace this one, it will be a beauty blog, ‘cos you know what? I really like makeup.
I don’t know how much I want to go into this right now, because it seems kind of hokey. I’ve been looking for something for a long time, I guess looking for a way to be. Some of Steve’s stuff seems a bit out there, honestly it was starting to make my head spin. But it has been a long time since I felt that kind of spiritual slap in the face, a long time since I’ve been really challenged to think a different way. I have been feeling vulnerable lately, with thoughts like, “How can I expect anyone to believe in me when I myself do not?” or “Why can’t I have just one person who will love me, really love me?” Well, whatever I perceive, it’s time to make a change, make a change in me. I feel such a sense of hope, it’s . . . wonderful.